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You Have a Right to Your Feelings of Loss
Anyone who has had a beloved companion animal understands the
profound feelings of loss when a pet dies or disappears. It is
hard enough to cope with this loss, yet grieving individuals
often have to face the insensitivity of those who do not
understand the profound connection between people and their
pets, making hurt feelings go even deeper. Sometimes, even when
people are offering sympathy and condolences, they say things
that shame us, especially when our emotions and expressed
strongly.
Emotions are yours to own, and whether or not someone else
understands your feelings of loss, your feelings are valid. You
had a wonderful connection with a pet that offered you
unconditional love, and you have a right to feel that loss
deeply as you would with the loss of a human friend or family
member. Sorrow, anger, depression, confusion, and even physical
pain, guilt, and bittersweet love are all normal in grieving
over the loss of your pet. Feeling those emotions after the loss
of a deep spiritual and emotional connection to your pet honors
that relationship. There is no set timetable for making your way
through grief, but there are some things you can do to
facilitate the healing process.
How to Cope with the Pain of Loss
First, you need to honor feelings. Yes, there are people who
will try to deny your grief, and tell you it was only an animal.
Just breath deeply and realize that grieving is a sign of your
strength to feel deeply. After all, you loved and were loved
deeply by your animal companion. It makes sense that your pain
would be equal to that immense love.
Allow your feelings to flow more freely through you. You can
even try releasing some of those feelings by writing a letter to
your pet or through journaling. You may also need to distance
yourself a bit from the naysayers while drawing closer to people
who care and understand what you are feeling. Open yourself up
to the help and advice these people have to offer.
Another way to help heal from the loss of your pet is to join a
pet loss support group where you are surrounded by others who
understand your emotions. Sometimes it is just helpful to know
you are not alone in your feelings of grief. You also need to be
kind to yourself during your mourning period. Take on activities
that move your mind, body, and spirit. One way to work through
your emotions and start healing is to take regular walks and
enjoy the nature around you. Nature in itself is healing, as it
allows us to connect with the natural life process around us.
Stay healthy and fit during this time. Grief can sometimes cause
you to forget about yourself, so you need to remember that your
pet would want you to remain healthy.
Give Meaning and Purpose to Your Loss and Your Life
A memorial service, tree-planting, community service, or doing
something in honor of your pet to help someone else can also
help give your loss meaning and facilitate the important healing
process. Also, plan ahead for those difficult days you will face
like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.
Rainbow Bridge Memorials
Some people have posted memorials online, either using the
Rainbow Bridge image, or others that allow them to share
memories and photographs of their beloved pets. If you're not
familiar with the Rainbow Bridge, it comes from a poem that
describes a place where you will meet your beloved pets at the
die that you die. The Rainbow Bridge is an image that has given
comfort to many people grieving their pets.
How you think about yourself and your emotions can also affect
your healing process. Set an intention to heal and become a
better and more compassionate person through your grief. If you
are facing negative or self-defeating thoughts about yourself,
try to replace them with positive ones. Sometimes people blame
themselves for the loss of a pet; it's important to remind
yourself of all the good things you did with your pet. Write
them down, put pictures with them, making a scrapbook of healthy
memories. However, if you find yourself going beyond the normal
degree of depression or having suicidal thoughts, call your
local crisis center and seek help working through your grief.
As people who connect to our pets and other people, loss is a
natural part of life. Understand that you are not alone in
feeling profound grief over the loss of your pet, as we have all
felt that grief in our minds, body, and heart. Grief is natural
and loss is a rite of passage. As we move through our sadness
over the loss, we have the choice to connect more deeply to
ourselves and become more loving, compassionate and purposeful
in our lives. Remember, your pet was your best teacher of how to
love. Carry on those lessons into the rest of your life!
About the author:
Marcia Breitenbach is an author, speaker, therapist, and
musician who has facilitated pet loss support groups for many
years. For more information about her new pet loss video/dvd,
click here:
http://www.griefandlosshelpsongletter.com/indexpetlossdvd.htm
She also has a free Songletter where you can get inspiring music
and strategies for living a magnificent life. Click here:
http://www.griefandlosshelpsongletter.com
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