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I was. Really good and stuck, I mean. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. In that miserably uncomfortable place where you feel lonely even with family and friends around. Where fear and faith constantly collide, leaving you to feel bruised and confused. Where being lonely is lousy, but bar-hopping and speed-dating lost their allure a long time ago (if they ever held any in the first place). And where you’re pretty sure soul mates don’t exist, but you sure wish if they did yours would hurry up and come along.
Exactly where is this place? It’s smack in between Sleepless in Seattle (you know, where your soul mate flies across the country and pounds on your door, sweeps you in his/her arms and professes undying love forever), and the more jaded, albeit more believable, version of Reality Bites. Can there possibly be a way to reconcile these two ideological extremes? Can we ever expect to get a definitive answer to the question of whether there really IS such a thing as a “soul mate” (or a “right mate”…or even a one-of-a-kind partner)? We believe that the answers, in order, are “yes,” and, even more strongly, “YES.”
The going might get a little tough, though. Because though they’re straightforward, these answers will undeniably challenge you to reach deep inside yourself to find them, to dig deep to the bottom of the toolbox where there seems to be only oil and grime, and where years of life’s lessons may have left you feeling deprived and lost.
The secret compartment
But digging deep is like dousing for water: you can be led right to it. Because these answers already exist, even though they may be laying hidden, trapped beneath a secret compartment at the bottom of your toolbox. They already exist, and they already reside inside you. Obvious? Maybe, but in order to let the power of that statement resonate, in order for the beauty of its simplicity to sink in, we need to appreciate not only the depth of its inherent truth, but also some of its critical ramifications.
What does it mean that “the answers reside inside you”? Well, it means they are always available to you; you can open that “secret” compartment at any time and poke around to see what’s there. They are always at-the-ready; they have no schedule but yours and they live in your time zone, so there are limitations on their time and ability to respond. The are always a part of you; no matter when, no matter how long it takes, they are as much a part of your genetic make up as your eye color and they don’t go away. They go everywhere with you and take you everywhere with them too, and they always live up to your expectations because they are yours—and only yours—and your truth in motion. They will always be there for you, set to frequencies you can understand. They will never be at a loss for ways to help you when you need it, and they will never desert you when you need them the most. In total, they are the core essence of you.
Tapping into our nucleus of vibratory thought and emotion is what supplies the potential for us to feel real and alive; it’s what can make us feel that we are contributing and making a difference. It can be like digging a ditch without a shovel, though, if we don’t have the right implements: we could do it, but it would probably take a long time and we’d be much more of a mess afterwards. So what we usually need to go along with the willingness to dig deep—to set our soul’s essence into motion—are some new tools to replenish our newly emptied toolbox.
The tools of vibration
These are tools that will help you bridge the gap between the answers you inherently know (but may not know you know) and your awareness of your immediate, total, never-ending, never-diminishing access to them. Because these particular tools await only your signal, however small, to rise to the surface of your consciousness. And once there, they won’t be willing to keep silent either…once that old toolbox sees the light of day and the layers of dust have been wiped clean with your Pledge for the mind, there’s no turning back. Reading this very article is one of those signals—this one whispering that you are on the right track, and that you really are ready to figure out what’s held you back for so long from the mate that’s right for you.
What will your consciousness be whispering in your ear as you move along? First and foremost: that your soul’s pheromones are nectar to the mate of your dreams. That’s right: nectar. In just the way wasps send out pheromones to call other wasps to join them in a sting, you are sending out your own chemical, emotional, and mental pheromones. What do they do? Well, let’s assume for a minute that anyone who is right for you is probably alive and living on this planet. Let’s assume further that he or she is within 20 or 30 years of your own age at either end (giving it a little latitude…). And let’s even assume that he or she is looking for you, but may be—in fact, probably is—just as confused as you are about not only whether you exist at all, but whether they’ll find you even if you do. Based on these assumptions, if your soul’s pheromones are dialing a direct call to your right mate, and nothing but a garbled call of static and confusion goes through, what do you think
your chances are of meeting up? Fair? Slim?...None?
A confused soul’s pheromones are like Brut mixed with Chanel #5, or a white wine mixed with a red. Cloudy all the way to overwhelmingly befuddled. And that mixture of confused energy is exactly what you are “sending” to your similarly confused mate when any of your thoughts, words, or emotions are garbled, diffused by uncertainty, or rigid with the fear of taking a risk. And “garbled” pheromones end up going nowhere, going awry or going along forever in a perpetual state of pandemonium.
How to stop the sting
The one single thing that is sure to help you feel less stung and less stuck in general, as well as much more hopeful, is to start to question everything you think you know and to reconsider everything else. Try picturing your mind as an overflowingly-full water glass stuffed with facts, beliefs, and years of reasoning. Now pour out some of the water. What happens? Where there was previously no room for even one more drop, you now have ample space for all sorts of wonderful new possibilities to flow in. And that’s where the following “drops of water” can be added to get you started.
(1) Write down all the reasons why you do or don’t believe in “soul mates”. Write down every reason you can think of, things you believe, things you feel, things you’ve experienced.
(2) Then write down your definition of a “soul mate.” Use as many details as you can.
(3) Now read this: The American Heritage Dictionary describes a soul mate as “a person with whom one has a strong affinity.” Surprised? I sure was. If that’s all that really defines a “soul mate” why are so many people so sure they will never find one, let alone so sure they do not exist? Hmmm, could it be that maybe it has more to do with our definition than our “belief system” after all? Could it be that in knowing “they” don’t exist, we can’t even consider thinking about who they are or where they could be?
The time is now
For every new “drop” that finds its way into your mind, your mind’s structure has been altered, along with the structure of your being, and even the structure of the universe at large. Every new drop causes a ripple effect more far-reaching than we can imagine, a ripple that easily reaches and stirs the water in the glass of your mate. Recognize this in yourself and give yourself credit for its worth. Because when you do, you are on your way to freedom…freedom from the bonds of a prison you may not ever have known existed, and freedom from fear and frustration. And when that happens, you will no longer be closed to your soul’s deepest desires, but well on your way into the arms of the mate of your dreams.
About the Author:
Heidi &Randy Connolly co-authored “From Your Lips To God’s Ear…Finding Your Right Mate in 10 Easy Steps”, answering every struggling single's question, “Does she really exist and, if he does, how will I find her/him?" Their book is available at http://www.2lakespublishing.com or through Heidi's Editing site at http://www.HarvardGirlEdits.com.
Source: www.isnare.com
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