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You know something's gotta change.
You feel stuck, like nothing's budging, even when you know
you have to change. You even want it to change, for goodness
sake - but that doesn't make it change.
(Got something in your life like this? A habit, a vice, a
pattern, a relationship, a way you work, a way you eat,
anything? Thought so.)
It's not that you don't understand the problem - you do.
It's not that you don't see how your thinking has been off
- you do. It's not that you don't see the solution, and
how much sense it makes - you do.
Even though it makes perfect sense to follow the logical
course of action, you don't.
Are you dense? Of course not. Because there have been
plenty of times that you've been helped to see the reasoning and
logic of a situation, and you made the shift you needed to make.
This just isn't one of those times.
So why haven't you changed? Simple - it's because despite
the logic, it just doesn't feel right to surrender it yet. And
no formula, process, or checklist is going to override that
feeling.
So how do you change the feeling? You don't. Because you
can't change how you feel about something as easily as you
change your socks. But, how you feel about the situation may
change on its own once your needs are being met.
Needs? What's this got to do with needs? Everything,
beloved. When your needs are being met, you are in a greater
space of trust, and therefore, choice. When you feel as if your
needs are not being met, your trust that "it'll all work out"
gets tossed out the window, and your sense of the options
available to you starts to shrink.
If you feel as if your needs aren't being met, even the most
logical steps can't be taken.
So, what is it that you need? Sometimes, it's to feel heard. Or
held. Or seen. Maybe your needs for safety, appreciation,
freedom, respect, aren't being met.
Example: I recently had the opportunity to work with
someone who felt incredibly stuck in her situation. Someone
tried to help her change by showing her where her thought
process was faulty, and how she was stuck in her interpretation
of the situation. Didn't help. In fact, all it did was piss her
off, and make her feel even more isolated.
When I sat down with her, I didn't know what to do right
away. But it soon became clear that it wasn't about logic,
and it wasn't about choice. She was afraid, bottom line. And the
only thing that was going to penetrate that wall of fear... was
love.
When we saw that what she needed was to be held, it was like
lightning - all of her pain broke open, and for the first time
in a long time, she could feel the presence of God holding her.
At that point, I didn't have to help her shift anything - she
felt the love and compassion she needed, and her "stuck-ness"
softened immediately. From that point, new possibilities
emerged, and she felt refreshed and hopeful again.
So how do you find (and get) what you need?
1) Feel where you are at. Frustration and all. It all
starts by being honest with yourself about what you are feeling.
2) Set aside logic. If you could have figured your way
through this already, you would have. And if you aren't feeling
as if your needs are being met, even the most straightforward
solution will feel inaccessible. So for now, set aside
sense-making and reasonable thinking.
3) Feel the No. (That one wasn't hard, was it?) Now,
engage it. Listen to it. Feel what it wants, what it believes is
real, and what it says is going to happen if you go through with
the change. The idea is get clear on what you need (or, what you
feel is missing) in this situation.
4) Trust your instincts. Yes, you've got concerns. But
you've also got a sincere yearning for Truth, Love, and all the
things you know deep inside are waiting for you on the other
side of this issue. This is the time to trust those instincts
and value your needs. Then,
5) Connect to your heart. Tap into your connection to the
Divine, using a practice called the Remembrance (repeating the
name of God/The Divine/Spirit - however you relate to it,
whatever name you use for it). As you feel your heart expand,
let yourself receive whatever The Divine brings you around your
needs.
The more you sit in your Remembrance and Divine connection, the
more you'll feel the Holy Answer to your request. Where before
you were feeling as if your need wasn't being/couldn't be met,
you've got some new Information now, and it's streaming into
your heart.
--- A Word on Needs: Often times when you first connect
with your needs, it seems as if what you are needing is
something that you need from the world (another person, a
situation, an environment, etc.). While that "outside" thing can
become a part of the solution, as long as you think that your
needs are being met by him/her/it, you'll never find true
certainty - because the thing you come to rely on is ephemeral,
fleeting, and may disappear at some point.
If you see The Divine as the Source of getting your needs met,
you'll never be in lack again - because that Source can never
run dry, is with you always, and can be accessed in an instant,
through the connection in your heart.
(In the example I gave above, I didn't hold my client
physically; she got her holding from the presence of God. She
later told me that physical touch does help her go inside, and
yet it's the God-connection that she knows does the trick.)
So if you find yourself seeking from the "outside", keep going,
keep looking, and find the place of your true "need-i-ness" with
The Divine. ---
Now that change doesn't feel impossible, see what this time
of rebirth has come to offer you. From this place of
connection, new possibilities can emerge. You may feel inspired
to form a local support group, get involved in your community,
create a Mastermind group to take your business forward, or
devote time and energy to a relationship that needs it.
Maybe your needs for fun and excitement are the next ones to
be fulfilled!
About the author:
©2009-2015 Adam Kayce. All Rights Reserved. Want to cross the bridge
between where you are now and where you want to be? Want to go
where can you find simple, yet sublime ideas, on spirituality,
personal development, happiness, fulfillment, healing, and
living the life you want? Head over to http://www.adamkayce.com
today and see how good life can be.
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