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Copyright 2009-2015 Mary Desaulniers
I've seen it so many times--clients who started to exercise with
enthusiasm dropping out 10 to 12 weeks later. "It's too boring,"
said one woman who actually lost 15 pounds in the process. "It's
just not for me. I don't have the motivation." Her voice told me
enough: her perception of exercise as something routine, boring,
a "Have To" rather than a "Want To" in her priority of things.
How do you turn exercise into a 'Want To"? How do you keep the
initial momentum going after 10 days? 10 weeks? 10 years? 30
years? It's the same question you ask your significant other as
you walk down the aisle--How do we keep this good thing going?
The answer seems elusive. We know that repetition breeds boredom
and effective exercise is repetitive to a large extent. Anything
repetitious becomes monotonous over time and even the words
"exciting routines" seem to be an oxymoron. Yet I know there is
an answer and perhaps this answer can be better culled from
those who have cultivated longevity in relationships over time.
After all, exercise is like a marriage; it can wither with
neglect or it can blossom with attention and time.
So I decided to approach two good friends of mine--Martin and
Helen--a couple whose marriage seems made in heaven--still going
strong after 35 years. They are still, 35 years later, each
other's best friend and lover. Their marriage is indeed a
daunting record in this day and age.
"How," I asked them," have you been able to keep your
relationship with each other so vital, so exciting even after
all these years? You are still each other's valentines!" And
they gave me 3 tips which I have found to be just as relevant
for relationships as they are for those of us who want to
cultivate longevity in exercise.
1. Nurture a long-term vision of what you will become as a
couple down the road.
Even in their twenties, Martin and Helen kept a long-term vision
of themselves as a couple. "We would imagine ourselves at 60,
retired, our house paid off and being financially secure enough
to travel and do the things we want to do. That vision kept us
on track all these years with savings, putting money into our
RRSPs, giving up on momentary splurges that we really did not
need, but would have made a dent in our savings. It's the choice
of giving up certain things now so we can have what we want
later that made us grow stronger as a couple, a team."
These are wise words indeed for keeping your finances healthy,
but even wiser for long-term fitness buffs. You have to give up
something now for the reward down the road. Cultivating a
long-term vision of yourself (as you want to be) and making this
a priority can curtail momentary lapses that assail even the
best of us. While Martin and Helen had to wait 30 years for
their dream to materialize, you don't have to wait that long.
I've found that reluctant as I am sometimes to go to the gym, I
ALWAYS feel great after the workout. Simply holding that image
of yourself feeling great in front of you can be a strong enough
motivation for doing what seems impossible at the moment.
2. Relish the Moment.
Martin said," While we had a long-term vision of ourselves, we
never got so bogged down with it that we forgot the moment.
We're in for the long haul, so we make sure that we have fun
along the way. We focus on the good things in each other, the
good things we enjoy and we make our times together fun. During
those years when we couldn't afford a yearly cruise, we went out
for dinner and movies 2-3 times a month and we dressed up for
those occasions and made them special like we were dating for
the first time."
The question then is-- How do you turn your exercise workout
into a date? The key, I think, is to find something you enjoy
doing and using it as an alternative on those days when the
thought of getting on the treadmill seems impossible. Rather
than doing nothing, go for an activity that pumps up your heart
and gets you excited. For example, you can vary your cardio
routines on the treadmill with a) a nice long-distance run
through the park b) 1 hour jazzercise c) power-walking d)
swimming or e) cycling. Or you can put on your favorite music in
the basement and just free dance your heart out!
3. Don't beat yourselves up when things don't go well.
"We've had great times," said Helen," and we've had terrible
times. They go with the territory. Life is never a straight
road. Instead of blaming each other when things go bad, we pick
up the pieces, fix what we can and just keep on going."
How often have we fallen off the exercise wagon and thought the
world ended right then and there? I remember way back in
December 1991, I slipped on the ice and fractured my ankle. It
required surgery and a cast and I thought my running days were
over. They would have been over had I wallowed in the self-pity
that overwhelmed me. But when I felt better and started walking
again in the Summer of 1992, I knew it was impossible for me not
to run. Just over a year later in 1993, my girlfriend and I
completed the Detroit Marathon. In the overall scheme of things,
momentary lapses are miniscule, almost negligible. What is
significant is the number of times you can pick yourself up and
get right back on track. Longevity is what counts.
About the author:
A runner for 27 years, retired schoolteacher and writer, Mary is
now doing what she loves--running, writing, helping people
reclaim their bodies. Nutrition, exercise, positive vision and
purposeful engagement are the tools used to turn their bodies
into creative selves. You can subscribe to Mary's newsletter by
contacting her at http://www.GreatBodyafter50secrets.com or
visit her at http://www.greatbodyat50.com
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